Goodwill

I was bouncing on my mini-trampoline, thinking about something a friend of mine said this afternoon. That, in turn, caused me to think of several things about my … lot in life … that aren’t very encouraging. That was what made me think of goodwill.

To start with, you have to understand that I have a really wonderful life. I enjoy my work, I have opportunity to be creative and use pertneer all the gifts the Lord has given me (that I know of), I am relatively fit and healthy, my present financial situation is fairly comfortable, my life is mostly peaceful, my heart is mostly peaceful … all good. You may approve of this, or not, but I haven’t really worked for this place in life. I like it—in fact, I could say I love it—but outside of something like "seek first the kingdom of God" I couldn’t tell you how to get what I have, because, outside of that, I’m not particularly sure how I got what I have.

Okay, you’re right, I’m lying. I do know how I got it. God gave it to me.

I have what I have in my life right now because of God’s goodwill toward me.

Now, some people look at me and talk about how talented I am in this or that area, and just don’t get it when I say that there is nothing in life that I want that I can acquire myself. Right now, right where I am, I’m on a tightrope in many ways. Financially, in relationships, and in the development of my talents, among other things, I am not really in control, here. Not that we ever really are, but I know it. I can clearly see it. (Maybe this is why we sometimes try so hard to control other people or things—because we’re trying to prove to ourselves that we can control something.)

And when I saw this very clearly in my mind’s eye, I realized something else: the Lord is dead-set on me learning to depend on His goodwill toward me. He doesn’t want me depending on the goodwill of some person or organization. He doesn’t want me depending on my own physical strength, my knowledge, my skill, or my virtue. He wants me to let go and relax, and the ONLY way I can relax is if I am entirely dependent on His goodwill.

Some may need to learn about God’s power or His love or something of that nature, but God’s goodwill has probably been the hang-up for me, my entire life. I’ve rarely trusted that He means well, or wants me to have good things or to be happy.

So I have a choice. I can get very depressed at all the negativity in my prospects for just about everything in my life, or I can walk on clouds. The latter is all but natural … if I am trusting in the ongoing goodwill of God toward me.

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