Pretenders

If there is anything that I have learned in recent years, it is the necessity of being honest with oneself regarding one’s internal condition. An insignificant passage in Psalms proves my point: [the Lord] satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

What does that have to do with being honest about one’s internal condition? Everything! If you consider the context of that statement, you’ll see a situation in which the people cried out to the Lord. He heard them, and helped them. You and I will never cry out to the Lord if we are busy attempting to convince ourselves and the rest of the world that we’re already satisfied.

I am by no means saying that it’s easy to be honest. It is far, far easier and less painful to anesthetize our pain (longing, hunger, thirst, loneliness, etc.) than to genuinely feel it to the extent that it causes us to passionately pursue the Lord for solutions. At least, it’s easier at the time. In reality, there is no benefit to the anesthetic, because until we really feel, and until we cry out to the Lord as a result, He will not satisfy our thirst or fill our hungry souls with good things.

It is also less humiliating to pretend all is well. We can use our lovely little super-spiritual mask so that none of the other actors on the stage have any clue that we’re putting on a show, just as they are. We can become so good at being fake that we don’t even know what real is!

I can well remember days when loneliness would have its grip on me until I would curl up on the floor and sob and sob for sometimes as much as hours. Those days are gone (hallelujah) but even yet there are moments … and I don’t entirely mind them. As those hours did in days gone by, so the moments of pain now open my soul (for lack of a better word) to … oh, maybe I should say they open my soul to God’s soul. We connect, and everything is alright once again.

There is a new era for me, and I’m happy about that (no one wants to hurt forever) but if you are still learning to feel your pain, I want to encourage you to not be afraid of it. Even if you are the only one you know who is willing to admit that you are hurting inside, admit it anyway. If you are the only one who is willing to admit that you’re hungry and thirsty and not satisfied with the status quo, admit it anyway. The more literal translation of a passage in Hebrews says that God rewards those who desperately need Him. Go ahead—it’s okay to admit you desperately need Him. You’ll be happy you did.

God doesn’t help those who help themselves; He helps those who go to Him for help.

Hunger. Thirst.

He will fill you.

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