To Really Believe

This is the story: I’m in the middle of building an addition that I am convinced the Lord told me to build. Now the Lord tells me that a certain individual is going to do a certain portion of the work. There are still a couple weeks left before that work holds up the project, but that isn’t all that long. Understand that there are many others who could do that work, and money is not an issue. I’m not waiting for that individual because I need that particular individual to do the work; I’m waiting because God said.

I understand, now, why it was such a big deal when Moses struck the rock that second time, instead of speaking to it, as the Lord told him to do. Moses knew what God had said. He didn’t merely have second-hand information, he knew. Furthermore, he knew what it meant to know. He wasn’t a novice. At that point, it was blatant rebellion—not just uncertainty—that inspired his action. Perhaps he had ceased to believe that the Lord would ever lead them into the land He had promised. I don’t know what all he thought, but I do know that he knew what he was doing when he chose to disobey the Lord.

That’s where I am. I know what uncertainty feels like, and this isn’t that. I know.

That’s where we come to phase two. I can know, and not believe. Paul said that knowing merely puffs us up. Moses knew, and it did him more harm than good.

So I was lying in bed, talking to the Lord about what He had said, and knowing that He would bring it to pass. But I caught my emotions sinking down, down, down, because I was resigning myself to a long wait. Why would I do that? Do I really believe that the Lord would bring me this far, performing one miracle after another and making me one promise after another, and then just leave me stranded for a year? I knew what the Lord had said, and I believed it to be true, but I wasn’t believing Him. I wasn’t genuinely believing that He was powerful enough to bring about this change in one moment, or that He was good enough to want to do it so quickly that I could have my heart’s desire regarding this addition, which is to have it complete by the end of the year.

What I’m forced to realize is that it’s ridiculously easy to fall into the trap of settling for less than our true desire, in our relationship with God. Easy to look at circumstances and base our requests and our faith in God’s power on what we see around us. When God said, "Is there anything too hard for me?" He was talking to a prophet who knew Him well.

Don’t think experience guarantees that you’ll really believe God. It’s a choice you make, every single day of your life.

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