In Defense of The Gooshey Gooeys

It really struck me, the thought that it is possible to give all I have to the poor—without love. Giving all I have to the poor would seem to me an act of great love, yet it is possible to do that act without any love at all.

Just for the record, I would like to note that the following statement is not recorded in the scriptures: "Love is not a feeling; it’s an act of your will." The Bible says a lot about love, but that is one thing it does not say about love.

If we love God, we’ll keep His commands. But keeping His commands doesn’t necessarily mean we love Him! We can keep His commands while our hearts are far from Him. We can do this and that in His name, while He says, "I don’t know you." Likewise, if you love your son, you will prepare chastisement ahead of time for him. This doesn’t mean that every parent who beats their kid loves him, by any means. I have personally witnessed parents who had almost zero affection for their children, spanking them. It isn’t very effective over the long haul.

At the same time, having love in our hearts doesn’t guarantee that we’ll do the right thing. Very loving parents can completely spoil their children (making it nearly impossible for any one else to love their children, in the process). But don’t for a moment make the mistake of thinking that it is the gushy gooey feelings that prevent parents from bringing appropriate discipline into their children’s lives. Wrong thinking and wrong beliefs—primarily believing that disciplining the child will obscure and prevent gushy gooey feelings—is what prevents loving parents from disciplining their children. I do not have to have a hard heart in order to spank a kid. All I have to do is know that the child is walking down a wrong path that will bring trouble on the whole house, and that spanking is the prevention. I don’t have to be angry; I don’t have to be hard-hearted; I don’t have to be mean. In fact, the whole scenario plays out best if I am none of the above. I will get the very best results if I have the gushy gooey feelings in abundance—combined with a correct belief system that inspires me to right actions.

I am not, however, going to say that we should just accept the (natural, after a while) departure of gushy gooey feelings, or feed them when they’re inappropriate. How on earth can you expect to enjoy marriage if you don’t have gobs of gushy gooey feelings? But of course they go away after a while. Feed your mind with correct thoughts. Plow up the fallow ground with kind words and actions. Seek the Lord until He comes and rains the gushy gooeys on you.

Why should any one of us struggle and fight and go through the motions, when we could have love?

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