What Lives In Your House -- E-day minus one

I have been pulled up short by this thing about desire. I am paraphrasing the King James Version, of course, but the basic truth is the same: what we experience is determined by what we desire (or fear). Very likely this doesn't hold true of every single thing in our lives (is the orangy-colored woodwork in my otherwise acceptable house related to my dislike of orangy-colored woodwork?) but I'm inclined to think that it is a far larger factor in far more areas of our experience than we'd like to think-since we'd just as soon relinquish responsibility for any circumstance that we don't like!

The bigger cause for thought, however, is the concept that our ability to truly desire good things is determined by how we believe God feels about us. We know that "perfect love casts out fear," but although I know, rationally, that God loves me perfectly, that doesn't eliminate my fears. I must know and believe at my very core, in the very foundation of myself, that God loves me perfectly. When I do, the fears fall aside, and I can truly desire good things.

At this point, I think I need to emphasize the word truly. "Apparently" good desires may, in fact, be nothing more than attempts to disguise or insulate us from our insecurities. For instance, I may desire to be President of the United States in order to mask my feeling of insignificance, in which case that desire would in fact be primarily rooted in fears. I wouldn't be truly desiring good. On the other hand, I am truly desiring good if I want that position because I believe it is what God has called me to, and that I will be able to maximize my potential to help people when I properly fill that role.

I also want to point out that one man's trash is another man's treasure. One woman desires nothing more than to stay at home and raise a family, and for her it is a truly good desire. Another woman is petrified that the Lord will require her to stay at home and raise a family; to her it is a fear of evil. The real issues may be deeper, but our fears and desires are inevitably linked to the way God made us as individuals.

Let's get back to the main issue, now. Sit and think, for a moment or two, about how God feels about you. Do you believe that He sees you as deserving good things, or deserving punishment? When you make a mistake, is He sad, or is He angry? When you do something well, does He give you a high-five, or does He penalize you for "excessive celebration"? Are your beliefs about God's feelings toward you based on others, or on what He has said?

What you believe about how God feels about you may not be true. But I am pretty sure that it is at the root of what you experience.

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