In Spite Of

For some little time now, I have been asking the Lord to expand my business. It wouldn’t be impossible for me to be content with it the way it is, mind you. I have enough income to provide for my needs, and enough work to keep me well occupied. I could be satisfied, but I can’t be. There is something much bigger in my heart.

Yesterday, I discovered that I had made a couple silly mistakes. I had mailed out the payment stub for my telephone bill, and I’m almost positive that it went in the mail without a check. A few hours later I discovered that I had sent a huge pile of paperwork back with one of my clients, and I had failed to enter the data from one pile of it into my computer. Now they will have to find that pile and return it to me... and on it goes.

Is either of these the end of the world? No, definitely not. I still have 3 weeks to find out for certain if that check did not go in the envelope, so I’m not in much danger of having a late payment. The client who will have to bring back the paperwork has had to do it before—because he took an envelope of stuff home with him once, which he was supposed to have left with me. Hey, stuff happens. That’s life.

What this did, though, was show me that I still have a little room for growth, and that I have come a long, long way. There would have been a time when I would have become very discouraged. How can I expect the Lord to grow my business if I can’t even do what I have right? I better get my act together, so my business can grow. But I have grown. Now I know that it’s not all about me.

It’s easy enough, quite honestly, to look at someone like Abraham and consider it proper for the Lord to have blessed him. After all, how could he do anything about Sarah being barren? Whose fault could that be? It wasn’t like either he or Sarah had done something to make her barren. But it’s different when someone makes stupid mistakes. Mistakes, failures, not living up to our own or other people’s expectations—how can we accept or expect more of the Lord’s blessings when we don’t seem to be able to handle what He’s already given us?

I think we do it in faith—or else we don’t do it at all. Most of us depend on our own goodness and rightness, pinning all our hopes on being deserving of God’s blessing.

Amazingly enough, today my hopes are not crushed, and I am not discouraged. I think that means I’ve grasped a truly foundational principal: it’s not about me. Glory, hallelujah, the pressure is off me! God is perfectly willing to bless me in spite of my real and widespread frailties.

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