Desperados

Every so often I need a slap upside the head, and last night was one of those times.

My life has become amazingly peaceful. That isn’t what I would call an accident, because the peace is almost entirely a result of the work (which was itself pretty uncomfortable) the Lord has been doing in me over the past ten years or so. I don’t have the stress I used to live with because I’m not attempting to run the universe anymore, nor do I live my life in an attempt to please everybody else.

In addition, the Lord gave me the lovely gift of a cozy little house on a quiet dead-end street, so not only is there more peace inside, there is also more peace outside. Money has become a smaller concern, my overall health is better. in a nutshell, life is pretty good.

I hate to admit that as life has become better, I haven’t been seeking the Lord quite so desperately. I haven’t forgotten Him, I just haven’t made it a priority to set everything aside for Him as though, as though, as though nothing mattered but Him or without Him.

As usual, it is not my outward circumstances that the Lord touched in order to make me desperate. In fact, I have rarely had what I would call desperate circumstances. It’s almost always my emotions that get my attention. They got my attention, and after three days of desperation, I finally got the message. Again.

If I seek the Lord desperately ALL the time, my emotions will never make me desperate.

I knew that, you know. But how quickly we forget. Here I am, receiving from the Lord what He has promised, but not able to enjoy it because He and I weren’t the "item" we are meant to be. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you God did not design me for surface relationships. I go deep, I want deep, I need deep. Idle chatter exhausts me. If we’re going to talk, then let’s talk about how you really are, and what you really feel, and how things really are. If that is how I am with people, how can I expect to be satisfied with less from the Lord?

Just like that, the despair and doubt that had been consuming me was gone, with confidence and faith in their place.

How on earth do we think we can live without Him? Not just without Him in the distance, but without Him in the deepest parts of us? How do we propose to make it?

Those who come to God, remember, must believe that He exists, and must also believe that He rewards those who desperately need Him. Forget about "seeking God because of who He is" it’s OK to seek Him because you desperately need who He is. We don’t come for fear of what will happen if we don’t.

Come because you need him.

You do.

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