Between Here and There

Last week I tossed the two pairs of jeans I’d been wearing for a while down the laundry chute, and came face—to—face with a fact I didn’t want to know: none of my other jeans fit me anymore. Desperate straits call for desperate measures, and since eating more than enough got me into my mess, the only solution was eating less than enough.

That’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

It’s been fine. I’ve felt a lot better since I’ve been eating less.

I’ve noticed, though, that I’ve been rather anxious. Particularly I’ve been anxious about money things. Now, when a girl can pay extra on her mortgage every month, she has no need to be anxious about money, but almost always when yours truly gets anxious, it’s about money. Habit, perhaps.

This morning, as I was jogging, it struck me that my present dietary situation and my present anxiety just may be related. I talked to myself for a while, reminding my body that the Lord has more than enough for me; the amount of fuel I’m putting in my body is not related to the amount of fuel He has available.

In order for me to enjoy the fabulous blessings He has provided for my closet, I have to temporarily abstain from overindulging in the provision in my refrigerator.

This is life. Everything that you want to have you must pay for. A young man may want this sweet girl at his side forever, but he has a price to pay: his freedom. He can’t think only of himself; from now on he’ll have to think first of her. That’s a scary thought, indeed. He may panic. He may get anxious. He’s having to give up something he values. But if he wants the girl permanently, he must pay the price.

As we go through life, the Lord puts desires in our hearts. He wants to give us all our hearts desire even more than we want to have those things—but everything He gives us has a price tag. You want victory? Sure, it’s available, but you have to give up your victim mentality. You can’t think of yourself as a loser if you want to win. You want financial freedom? All yours, if you’ll set aside your "poor me" mindset. And chances are good that as you attempt to give up the victim and the "poor me," you’ll get anxious.

Scripture is loaded with the concept of giving up in order to obtain. But the process is very often quite similar to what I’m going through. How can you compare the temporary sort—of pleasure of stuffing my face, with comfortably wearing anything I desire to pull from my closet? There is no comparison. What I’m giving up is nothing compared to what I’m gaining.

I haven’t acquired it yet, though. I’m still in the "giving up" mode, so I’m anxious. I’ve left my old place, and haven’t yet reached the new.

But one day I will.

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