Here's Looking At You

Even in this permissive society, it’s bound to happen at least once in every child’s life: Mom says no. If little Johnny has his heart set on whatever it was, he’s bound to be disappointed.

I’d like to take a look at Johnny’s options. Although in a perfect world Johnny would process his grief quickly and smoothly without shedding a tear or making a false accusation against his mother, in real life, if Johnny doesn’t shed a tear or make a false accusation against his mother, he’s stuffing his feelings, setting the stage for a later explosion or for being a top­notch hypocrite.

If he’s really bold, he might take up his complaint directly with his mother, possibly screaming and crying and stamping his feet and accusing her of whatever base things may come to his mind, like being "mean." In general, such expressions are pretty unpleasant all around.

At certain stages, the most likely expression of Johnny’s disappointment will be acts such as pushing his little sister down the stairs, knocking over his little brother’s pile of blocks, or destroying his favorite toy. These, I think you’ll agree, are all singularly ineffective-and, I may add, potentially dangerous­expressions of disappointment.

Those are your choices. Which is best?

At one time, I would absolutely have said it was wrong for a child to express his disappointment to his parent. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—I’ve had a few adult temper tantrums. As a result, I can say positively that the safest method of dealing with our pain and disappointment is to take it directly to our Father.

Let’s look at our other options.

I think you’ll agree that people who stuff their stuff wind up either extremely depressed or, just as often, extremely super­human. How can you like someone who "never feels anything"? How can you accept instruction from someone who has never failed or made a mistake? (Just the thought of such people annoys me!)

Take a look around. You won’t have to look far to find someone who is taking out their disappointment on everyone around them. Even "nice" people can be dreadfully nasty when they’re hurting. Causing someone else pain may relieve the frustration, but it’s pretty dangerous, all told.

Recently it—whatever it was—happened to me. There was hurt, disappointment, and maybe a bit of fear, too. I even felt something I sadly fear was hatred toward the person who had hurt me, and an enormous desire to inflict a great amount of hurt in return. For lack of anything better to do, I sat on my bed and quite literally screamed, and cried, and unloaded all my frustrations into God’s lap.

At some point, He caught my eye. In that moment, it was all over. Literally gone. No one got hurt. There is nothing to cause a volcanic explosion in a week or two.

This is why it is best to express whatever you’re feeling to God Himself.

Eventually, He will catch your eye.

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