Fixers

One of my favorite writers of fiction was fond of including in her list of characters at least one individual who "enjoyed poor health." If you aren’t a person who "enjoys poor health" (or one of any number of other problems) chances are good you know someone who does.

Which is just fine, if you know how to allow people to enjoy their problems. It’s not so fine if you are a fixer.

I’m a fixer. And I don’t like having problems. Poor health disables me, and I have too much that I want to do to be slowed down by poor health. Other problems are the same. I’m not fond of having problems, and I don’t enjoy them, and I simply cannot identify with people who do.

So when I hear someone "complaining" about their problem (or, more accurately, basking in the glory of having a problem, in some cases) my immediate response is to fix it. That may sound like a good thing (especially if you’re a fixer, too) but it is thievery, and nothing but.

Jesus said that everyone who seeks will find; everyone who asks will be given to; and everyone who knocks will have the door opened to them. He did not say that everyone who complains will have their problem solved. Each of us has the right and the privilege to seek, ask, and knock.

Don’t rob your neighbor of his rights.

That may sound mean, but if you look closely, you will find that this is the way God does things. He said that He’ll be found of us when we seek Him with all our hearts. He doesn’t show up (in most cases) simply because we have a problem. There are tons of people with problems who never see the Lord miraculously intervene in their situation. Is it because He couldn’t? Is it because He doesn’t care about them? Is it because He doesn’t love them? No, He just makes it a practice to be found of those who seek Him.

It is true that in one or two cases He said He’d be found of those who didn’t seek Him. I don’t want to make it sound as though desperation is required all the time­only most of the time. He knows very well that if we don’t want something very badly, we won’t treat it properly when we get it.

A few years ago, I created a new motto: Don’t care more about someone else’s problem than the person with the problem does. If you’re poor and you don’t care, my caring will do nothing but make me miserable. If you’re ill and don’t care, my caring will merely make me miserable.

I know this isn’t for everyone. Some people need to learn to care a little bit more about other people’s problems. But if you’re like me, and you’re making yourself miserable by trying to fix things that the owner doesn’t want fixed, then hear me well:

Bug off.

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