In My Opinion

I have recently read several novels set in nineteenth century England. If these novels are to be believed, fashionable folk of that day placed bets on anything and everything. Bets were recorded regarding if this person would marry that person, if this woman would be delivered of a girl or of a boy, if this team of horses would beat that team in a race, and on it went. It seems to have not been uncommon for people to lose their entire fortunes in betting on such stupid things.

We would never do that!

Yeah? We do it regularly.

One of my favorite modern sayings is, "Where you have no responsibility, you have no right to an opinion." We are inclined to consider our right to an opinion one of those "inalienable rights," but we can lose our entire fortunes by opinions.

An opinion is a wager—in which the payback is an acknowledgement of who was right and who was wrong­regarding the outcome of a certain scenario. When I choose to place such a wager, I’m putting myself unhealthily into the situation while, oddly enough, distancing myself unhealthily from the situation.

The wager makes me a winner or a loser by someone else’s experience, which gives me a bad sense of dependence on them. I’m inclined to want some degree of control, so that I can win my wager. It gives me a greater reason to gossip, because the more people who become involved in the wager, the greater my payback will be, when everyone sees that I was right.

At the same time, I’m eliminating the possibility of making their experience relevant to me. The scenario is all about "them." When it’s over, my entire focus will be on my being right or wrong. I will be quite unable to learn anything that can later impact my own experience.

Unfortunately, people who constantly wager on other people’s experiences never learn from them, and wind up becoming somewhat despised fools. People who observe, on the other hand, gain wisdom and understanding and respect.

When I observe, I watch and wait until outcome comes in. I haven’t placed any bets on the scenario, so I’m not emotionally involved. In a healthy sense, I don’t really care about the outcome, because it won’t actually effect me. Because I don’t really care which way it goes, I’m willing to help if you ask me, I’m willing to weep if you weep, and I’m willing to rejoice when you rejoice. Above all, I’m able to learn from your experience, and absorb new learning. I don’t need to make my (emotional) fortune at your expense. I’m willing to let my own life-my own decisions and actions-prove my wisdom. I don’t need to prove it by placing bets on your life.

I’m tired of opinions, be they mine, yours, or theirs. The thrill of the wager doesn’t thrill me anymore. I just want to live. And I want you to live, too.

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