On The Way To The Land Of The Promise

I’ve heard tales from people who are living in the promise that God made to them. Certain aspects of the stories are the same. They heard the promise. They tried to make it happen themselves. They had to wait. A long time. They tried to ditch the promise, only to discover that they didn’t have the promise; the promise had them.

I’ve heard the promise. I’ve tried to make it happen myself. I’ve tried to ditch the promise, and I’ve discovered that I don’t have the promise; the promise has me. But I don’t like this waiting thing.

Something happened yesterday. In my attempts to ditch the promise I’ve attempted to make deals. Even if I haven’t said it, I’ve meant, Lord, you forget it, I’ll forget it, and we’ll pretend it never happened. I’ve said, I was happier before You made this promise. Most recently, as in, yesterday, I said, I’m not really sure I want this promise, anyway. It probably won’t be that wonderful. It won’t be that big of a deal. We can just skip it. Can’t we just get on with something else?

Now, this promise came from the same person who gave me a nice house to live in, and an assistant to help me with my work; a gorgeous bedroom set, and dozens or hundreds of other really nice, wonderful, pleasant things. Would He promise me something, make me wait a long time for it, and then have it turn out to be nothing much?

The truth is, I’ve had glimpses, here and there. I’ve had just enough of a taste to keep me in the program. And, yes, it was awesome.

But while I’m waiting, I tend to forget those glimpses. All I think about is what I don’t have, and what I wish I did have, and all I want is to be content with what I do have, and to not want what I don’t have. If I needed it, I say, God would give it to me. Surely it can’t be right for me to want what I don’t have.

I’ve had experience with the Lord changing my desires. I know He can do it. But He’s not changing this one. I’ve begged Him to do so. Please let me be happy without this. That’s all I want. I just want to be happy without this thing that You promised me.

It doesn’t happen.

I’m only happy … when I’m believing Him.

As I walk through the wilderness, He teaches me that I live by every word that comes out of His mouth. He teaches me humility and many other things. But when I’m standing by the Jordan, and He says, “Go take the land,” He doesn’t want me to say I don’t really need or want it. He doesn’t want my protestations that I was content with Him out in the wilderness.

On this trip to the land of my promise, the only thing that pleases Him is faith.

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